Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Sometimes it's hard to know the best way to help
She is listening to her father talk about giving her and her little brother up. It's clear she is listening to a disturbing conversation.
Her little brother is about 2 1/2 now and their mum died when he was 3 months old. Dad has struggled to look after the two children and is close to giving up.
The little boy has poor health which is understandable since his mother was dying while carrying him. Dad works very little as his son can't go to child care when ill. This month he has managed to only work 3 days. This means each month he borrows from neighbors and relatives and then pays them back when he has earnt some money. The ongoing stress is getting close to too hard for him.
We took on all the education costs of his daughter two years ago and that has meant she has stayed in school. But now what is best to do?
When we saw her recently we had to do something more as dad was really upset as he had just had an orphanage manager come visit him and offer to take his children. It's not what he wants as he adores them, but he is exhausted and stressed with the ongoing health issues of his son and the lack of money.
So we spontaneously decided to pay for a thorough medical examination of his son at the best children's hospital in Quang Nam to see what really is wrong with him and to see if the local doctors are treating him correctly. We also decided to pay them some money each month for food to help relieve the stress a little.
We believe in keeping children with their family, especially young children. But we may only be delaying the day when he might have to give them up, but we want to delay that day as long as we can so they are that bit older.
If he remarries, which is very likely eventually, it is unlikely his new wife will accept his children. She will want children with him and poor people do not take their chldren into a new marriage as they can't afford the 'old' children and 'new' children. That's another subject.......